I was reading a friend's blog post earlier and saw that she was in a very disheartened state indeed. Seems the expectations for an amazing family weekend had turned into a time she'd rather not remember. Her family could not be heralded in these moments it appears.
My heart went out to her in compassion, because who hasn't been there? But also, there is so much to the context of that scenario that it's hard to really pinpoint one aspect that I was sending needed compassion for.
In times where struggle and strife are evident, it often occurs to me, would it feel so full of strife if the observer was in more open spirits? How much of it is in the eye of the beholder? So often, when I hear of mishaps and stories of parents with their kids, I feel a bit of humor at the situation and a bit of sorrow for the children whom I know are very often at the end of the beholder's tongue and shaky emotions. To err is human, to blame it on our kids is ego.
Or maybe we need to simply lighten up on ourselves and obliterate expectation, where I see the root of much problem. How often does that happen where a situation, a person, or an event fail to meet our expectations and rather see that God given beauty of the moment, we completely miss the forest for the trees? See, God works in every day moments, not in the amazing trip to Disney World, the surprise gift sure to bring tears of joy, the beautiful party, the decorations, the itinerary. God works through us in our worst times. God brings blessings in the things we do every day. Remember, the universe is always for us. When it seems like something is "bad" remember, "bad" is only perception it is not a fact. You might want to look and question yourself at that point and see why your perception is lying where it is. Key word here: lying. Ego will lie to you. It does it all the time because there is more drama and problem for the ego and mind to solve if there is confusion, emotion, and chaos.
Allen Cohen says, "Our hardships are not the whim of a wrathful God; they are the conclusions we draw from incomplete perception."
Perhaps you might want to just see the beauty that is gracing that particular moment. Everything happens for a reason. Every "bad" thing that happens is simply one half of the positive. If you look at the math symbols for negative and positive, the positive sign has the negative sign within it. If everything does happen for a reason, then it would behoove you to find the lesson within, correct? In his book, "Illusions", Richard Bach says that
"There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."
The answer is then simple. Accept the gift, and it ceases to be a problem.
I would challenge you today, to receive the gifts as they come in all forms. Each moment is truly the gift, is it not? We did not get to declare to receive only the "good" gifts, but we did sign up for all that life had to offer did we not? How would we know we had good children if we did not see difficult behavior? How would we have beautiful surprise events and wonderful family times had we not seen some trying ones? We can only appreciate what is given to us in comparison.
Perhaps what we are ready to give up on, is really just a new beginning.